Why does Shannan Watts get so much hate?

The murder of Shannan Watts, her unborn child Nico, and her two young daughters sprang back into the public spotlight this year with the release of the Netflix documentary on the crime — “American Murder, The Family Next Door”. One of the most surprising aspects of the crime for me, is that Shannan Watts is so reviled when many other murder victims are seen as perfect after their death.

Other very skilled writers have looked at the issue and found evidence of victim-blaming and misogyny, which are definitely true. But I think it only speaks to part of the issue in this case.

Part of the fascination with true crime, which is predominantly is that it explains the terrifying and often inexplicable reality of true crime. The consumers of the media feel themselves becoming more aware and more able to avoid the circumstances. They won’t hitchhike to avoid becoming Kim Wendy Allen, or avoid walking home alone to try and avoid the fate of Sarah Everard, or lock their doors extra times to avoid home invasions and worse.

But the truth that is revealed in cases like Shannan Watts’ murder is that the signs and steps to avoid becoming a victim are harder to spot in domestic violence murders. Shannan was in a very common position for a young mother, reliant on her cheating and lying husband, vulnerable due to her pregnancy, embroiled in a finance draining MLM and living away from her family.

Its less nerve wracking for her detractors to think if she’d been kinder he wouldn’t have killed her. But the truth is she did give plenty of space (by leaving and taking the kids for 6 weeks) and he chose to stay in the marriage and kill her, kill their children and stuff the children in an oil tank. It’s much easier to look for what she did, that others aren’t doing, as a magic release from the risk of this crime than to look around young own life and acknowledge the strains in many young marriages and the terrible domestic violence that occurs behind closed doors.